I’ve been back from Guatemala for a few days, and I had forgotten how much trouble I have coping when I get home.  I have trouble concentrating.  I find myself being irritable about things that shouldn’t bother me.  I sit and stare at the wall, thinking about orphans.  And that’s me coping well after 8 trips!

I traveled with two friends who hadn’t been on an international mission trip yet, and it was good to see the experience again through fresh eyes.  They were both wonderful with the boys, gifted in different ways, and processing all they saw in different manners.  Both have been changed by the few days in Guatemala and are working at reconciling the ways that God is changing their views of the world and their roles in it.

It’s difficult to see the level of poverty that exists in other parts of the world.  Dirt floors, 14 people living in a one bedroom home, and primitive facilities.  It’s hard for us in the U.S. to understand what it looks like for hundreds of children to live in an orphanage with no mommy or daddy, desperate for a hug or a kiss, hoping and asking “please don’t forget us.”  And it should be bothersome.  It should be upsetting, and it should shove all the other less important stuff to the edges.

It would be easier to be unaffected by orphans and missions.  To get back to work at home with the business of doing the mundane.  It would be less painful if we cared less.  I remind myself that the Holy Spirit is also the great Comforter, and that we only experience the blessing of being comforted when we are uncomfortable and upset.  Who needs God to draw close and wrap his arms around us when we are content, comfortable, and in control?  As much as I dislike the unsettled feelings, it is in midst of that mixed up mess of thoughts and feelings that God is nearer and his heart is more known in my life.