This little boy has been on my mind all day.  We met in Guatemala about 3 years ago, when he also met his parents.  Juan Pablo was an orphan, abandoned by his parents after he was burned in a home accident and his medical expenses became to great for his family to bear.  But God had bigger plans for Juan Pablo, including bringing John and Emily Wiggins into his life to fall in love with him and battle for 3 years to bring him home to Indiana as their son.  He arrives in Indianapolis this evening, and there will be a great host of saints there to greet him and praise God for his faithfulness and divine plan in Juan Pablo’s life.

I used to hate reading the book of Job.  It didn’t make much sense to me, and there was all this talking, talking, talking, and these 4 guys.  Then one day I read the entire book in one sitting while I was home sick with strep throat, probably because I was feeling especially Job-like and miserable, and after reading the book as one dialogue, I had a better appreciation.

Job 38: 8-11″Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness, when I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt’?

I read these verses this morning and smiled.  While I’ve been diving this week, there have been some amazing scenes that turn one’s mind to God immediately.  There are schools of fish numbering in the hundreds, and they all move as one.  They all dart to the left at once, and then turn around at once, as if taking orders from someone unseen.  How do they do that?  Did God make them that way just so they would point to his creation and his design?  There is so much color underwater on a reef in the coral, the big fish, the little fish, the flat fish hiding just under the sand.  It’s all so captivating.  And then, if you look to your left, you can see the vast abyss of blue that has no beginning and no end.  All of that is God’s.  There are parts that we get to see that have his clear signature, and then there is so much more that he spoke into being which shall remain mysterious.

In my Bible, Job 38 is entitled “The LORD Speaks”.  I love that he lists off the things that he has created, the things we take for granted and do not appreciate.  God does speak loudly to Job here, and he has also been speaking to me quietly all week about his glory and his creation.

This is what it looked like before things went awry:

We couldn’t dive today because Ida was making big waves in the ocean after dropping lots of rain overnight.  Renting scooters was the next option, since no one wanted to be stuck at the hotel all day long.  I have been on motorcycles and have driven dirt bikes in the past, so scooters seemed doable.  My over-confidence mixed with a lack of experience ended with me running into a lovely woman in our group, Cindy, and then I slid down the road on my side.  I may have cussed, though this cannot be confirmed.

I was able to get to my feet and move all my joints, though my ankle and heel were sore.  I realized I was bleeding from the leg and arm, and then there was some shock, complete with white face and nausea.  The police came, as well as the ambulance, carrying a very nice woman named Judith who cleaned and bandaged my road rash on my arm and leg.  I did not get any pictures of this event, however, several of my friends were kind enough to photo-document my pain, bleeding, shock, and other exciting elements of my disastrous experience.  Cindy’s shoulder hurt and she had some scrapes, but she was well enough to continue riding.  I feel so bad that I took her down with me.  I’d trade more pain for less guilt in that area.

It’s very hard for me to be the recipient of someone else’s generosity, to be the one in need who has to lean on others.  I hate it, and it’s a struggle to be gracious.  I’d rather disappear until I became self-sufficient and return whole and healthy and independent.

But, I am reminded, we are designed to live in community, to live interdependently.  Not just “they” and “he”, but “me” and “us”.  It’s a pleasure and a privilege to rub shoulders with giving and generous people.  Judith the EMT was so gentle and compassionate while she cleaned my wounds.  Jose drove me back to the hotel and was kind enough to take me to a pharmacy first for some supplies.  Melissa checked on me and gave me some medicine.  Beth and Cassie are right now buying more supplies.  Adam agreed to do some wound care later and finish removing grit from the sore spots.  There is an overwhelming measure of thankfulness in my mind, and that is squeezing out the embarrassment and shame.

Things I love about this trip so far:

• A great shore dive within an hour of arrival in Cozumel.  There were bright blue fish, eels, rays, spider looking things, flounders, and other amazing creatures with unknown names.  There was a tiny fish that was purple and orange.  Purple and orange don’t go together, but God decided to put those colors on a tiny fish, and he’s a pretty good-looking fish.
• Travel by air.  Every time I fly, it feels like magic.
• Great people.  I know some of the people I’m traveling with, though I don’t know all of them well.  I’m the green one, the one without experience who is bound to make a bonehead mistake, and everyone has been so laid back and helpful and generous.  I couldn’t have found a better group if I’d have hand-picked them myself.
• I love conversations with friends about faith and life.  Talking about living in community and experiencing grace from God.  Talking about what happens to your soul after you die and what we think heaven and hell are all about.  These are conversations I’ve had since my departure from home at 3:45am today.  I feel like the church is on the move, and this week the church is diving in Cozumel, living in community, helping one another, looking out for our buddies, and sharing our faith with one another in a way that makes us all sharper (Proverbs 27:17).
• Flan.  I love flan.

I’m leaving tomorrow for a dive trip to Cozumel, and I’m looking forward to so much about it.  Warm weather, seeing tropical fish eyeball to eyeball, the taste of salt water on my lips, floating along with just the sound of my breath in my head,  reading a good book by the pool, letting someone else make the bed and take out the trash, etc.  It’s my first opportunity to use my scuba skills in the ocean, and I’m a bit nervous, but also excited to develop those skills.  Plus I can work on my Spanish, si?

Relaxation, here I come.

Change is very difficult for me.  I take great comfort in the known, in the familiar people, tasks, expectations, and routine.  Anxiety appears when I don’t know what to expect, and I worry over all possible outcomes.  I came across a passage of scripture in Daniel chapter 1 that gave me comfort about trying new things.

^8-10 But Daniel determined that he would not defile himself by eating the king’s food or drinking his wine, so he asked the head of the palace staff to exempt him from the royal diet. The head of the palace staff, by God’s grace, liked Daniel, but he warned him, “I’m afraid of what my master the king will do. He is the one who assigned this diet and if he sees that you are not as healthy as the rest, he’ll have my head!”

^11-13 But Daniel appealed to a steward who had been assigned by the head of the palace staff to be in charge of Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah: “Try us out for ten days on a simple diet of vegetables and water. Then compare us with the young men who eat from the royal menu. Make your decision on the basis of what you see.”

^14-16 The steward agreed to do it and fed them vegetables and water for ten days. At the end of the ten days they looked better and more robust than all the others who had been eating from the royal menu. So the steward continued to exempt them from the royal menu of food and drink and served them only vegetables.

There was a way of doing things that had worked for many years, and Daniel came onto the scene challenging the status quo.  But rather than turning things upside down, he asked permission to try something new and test it out. 

Things are always changing, and God calls men and women to be agents of change for his glory, to challenge the status quo and test the waters.  Is God calling you to move out of your place of comfort and test yourself and Him by trying something new?  What excuses are you using to cling to the familiar and comfortable?  Can you find reassurance in the knowledge that God calls you step out on faith into the company of great men like Daniel?

I spend a lot of time in the car, driving around 4 counties to see clients.  It’s nice to have the time alone with my thoughts.  And it’s terrible to be alone with my thoughts.  I find myself worrying over situations, relationships, possibilities, opportunities, etc.  Prior to the Guatemala trip, my brain was full of things to stew over, including hurt feelings with a friend, a difficult conversation, and general woes which shall remain nameless. 

So, on day 3 of riding around Guatemala City, I was staring out the window at the traffic and passing scenery and I realized that I wasn’t stewing.  I tried to remember what I should be worrying about, but it was so far away that I couldn’t quite wrap my brain around those things.  I’d been thinking about orphans and wondering how much snot I had on my shirt because of all the hugging.  I was smiling to myself at the memory of Ambrosio leading a standing ovation over pizza.  I remembered serving drinks to a bunch of kids who aren’t treated like they’re special very often.  There were the mountains and a smoking volcano out my window, and I was thinking about how big God’s world is and that I am very small in my tiny corner of Indiana.  My perspective was put to right.

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”  Philippians 4:8 (New Living Translation)

The last day spent in Guatemala is always wonderful and terrible.  It’s so good to have those last moments with the kids, squeezing every drop of joy and laughter out of the day, but then comes the part at the end when we say good-bye.  Today was no easier than the previous 6 times I’ve left them, and one would think that it should get less painful.

It was a full day with taking 7 kids to the local children’s museum.  Seven adults and seven kids…piece of cake, right?  I’m certain I was more tired than most of those kids at the end of the day.  The museum is a great place with hands on experiences with sound, light, bubbles, blocks, and a variety of other educational tasks.  I spent most of my time with Isabel; she doesn’t say much, but she’s a bundle of energy and flying limbs.  After the museum we took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese, which is just like Chuck E. Cheese in the U.S.: chaotic, loud, and exactly what kids want.  They played games, ran around, had meltdowns, and had a great time.

After taking the kids back to their home, we spent more time playing, with each of us aware that our time was dwindling.  There is so much that happened and so much to say about the day and the sweet moments throughout.  Scot, Shawn, and Nate & Rachael have their own moments to share.  A few highlights from my vantage point:

• I loved playing ball with Estuardo.  He is such a smart and tender child, and he hurt so much when we told him good-bye.  Until that time came, though, it was a delight to throw and catch with him, passing the ball faster and faster, watching him become more intent on doing better.
• Loving on Isabell.  She has special needs and is slow to develop, and she is unlikely to be loved into an adoptive family in this country.  Yet she is not unlike any of us.  Her skin is soft, she loves to be close to others and seeks their hands and touch, and she loves to laugh.  Even while holding her and responding to her inarticulate moans, I was aware that she is a child of God and has infinite worth in His eyes.
• Jose climbing the rock wall.  I sat on a bench with Isabell and watched kids climb a rock wall outside.  Juan Pablo was waiting in line, and he made it 3/4 of the way to the top.  Then came Jose, who is deaf and communicates through sign language and screams.  One would think that he isn’t intelligent, but it has become clear that he is extremely intelligent, concerned for his “family” at the orphanage, and determined.  He made it to the top of the rock wall, and I swear I could see perseverance rolling off his back the whole way.  He wouldn’t give up until he’d rung that bell.  He has a tremendous amount of strength and ability, despite his apparent disability.  He amazes me.

I don’t know what comes next for this kids or what the long term outcome will be for these orphanages or what their families will look like.  What I do know is that God has called me to this journey and has many divine appointments along the way, including those of these past 3 days.  Through those God ordained moments, He is building love into the lives of these kids, and I am changed in the process.

Today was a beautiful day with many great moments, from celebrating Estuardo’s 8th birthday with all the babies and toddlers this morning, to celebrating with pizza and cake at Eliza Martinez this afternoon.  It was a series of encounters which left each of us smiling.  Read about the birthday party and pizza party at the blogs of Nate & Rachael, Scot, and Shawn.

This afternoon at Eliza Martinez we hosted the pizza party, which was a joy, and we had a variety of other things for the kids to do.  It was also a day of celebration of First Communion for a couple of the young men, Luis & Hugo, who looked so handsome in their suits.  They had a big cake, and they also had pinatas for the boys.  It was a blast to watch the boys go at those gorgeous creations with a stick, hoping someone would knock a few pieces of candy loose.  And then they handed the blindfold and stick to Rachael.  And then to Nate and the rest of us.  They were treating us as guests of honor while we were there to serve them.  They cut the cake, and I chose to stay outside making bracelets with my new BFFs, and then Adolfo came across the courtyard with a piece of cake for me.  I later learned from the rest of the team that they served us first before the rest of the boys.

The boys were so loving and attentive and engaged this afternoon, and I can’t count the times I heard “thank you” in Spanish and in English.  We can respond with “mucho gusto”, which is to say “it’s a pleasure”.  I continue to be amazed and thrilled by God, that moves in such a way that we arrive to serve, and we find ourselves simultaneously humbled and uplifted.  They want to thank us, and I want to thank them for letting us come.  We come to bring them gifts, and they give us the first piece of cake.  We are from different countries and families and worlds, and we lean on one another and connect ourselves to one another in ways that change each of us forever.

I had so much fun with the pinatas and pizza party.  But it was in the moments in between that I found myself with tears in my eyes.  I spent a lot of time sitting still with boys and beads all around me, working on finding the right bead or tying a good knot.  There was one boy’s knee in my back, another leaning against my leg on the bench below, and two on either side.  We were just working together, side by side, getting to know each other a bit.  They are just little boys who need someone to love them like God loves them.

One of the boys made a bracelet for me.  It says “te amo”: I love you.

One of my favorite things about returning to these orphanages is found in the moments when we first arrive and recognition dawns on us and on the kids as we make eye contact with familiar faces.  I love that moment when to door opens to the babies home and kids come spilling through the doorway with “Hola!” followed by hugs and kisses.  In the same way, there is that moment when we drive into Eliza Martinez and there are kids running alongside the van shouting and touching and waving.  They are so excited for visitors, and we are so excited to deepen the connections we have been building for years.

We talked today about how the kids love to have their pictures taken, to see themselves immediately in our digital cameras.  They love the candy, bubbles, games, crafts, etc.  And all of those really great things are merely tools to connect with the kids and show them God’s love.  I pray that they know God sometime in their lives, and I hope that they have an inkling of how much they are loved by their creator through the tiny ways we show them how much we are crazy about them.

I particularly loved to see Mili today.  She’s the little girl who was literally thrown away by her family.  When we first met, she was withdrawn, distrusting, and emotionless.  Today she has a smile and a laugh that can melt you, and she was quick to be held and rocked and smooched.  I love to see what God has done in her in a few years.  It’s a joy to watch.

For another view and another story, check out the blogs of Shawn, Scot, Nate & Rachael.